Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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