I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
