this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
