I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
