is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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