i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize