The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
