This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
