I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
