so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
