I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
