escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
