Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
