Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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