Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
