If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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