it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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