is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
