i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
