Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
