Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I will be naked everywhere
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
