i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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