i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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