I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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