Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just high enough for therapy.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
