Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
