i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
