Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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