Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
