I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
