yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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