Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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