when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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