And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
