Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
