Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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