thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
