he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
