You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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