It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
if only i could text you this smell
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
