had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize