dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
