Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
