Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
