You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
