the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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