i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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