My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
