how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize