Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize