Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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