we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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