morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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