I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
