Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
