Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
