How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
