im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
