i just had sex bonerless
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
